Leaving is a torture {♥}

♥ Thursday, October 30, 2008

Hey boy, now that you've found someone, I'm happy for ya toos ( But not happy of someone, haha! Siao bastard ). Even though my heart's not there, but I'll still miss you. Be happy uhs. Wish ya all the best :)

Mummy nagged at me so long today, probably she very bored, haha! Mustard. I going change, cannot say bastard already, if not Sweet will be upset with me. See Sweet! I'm so good ya, change for you :) Haha. Sweet waited for me quite long today, sorry my dear! Bought drinks and walked to Greenridge. Saw Vince and chat. Halfway, I saw a lady, I thought summon one, quickly called Ivan, he ate halfway and quickly ran out. In the end, is my eyes got stamp see wrong. So sorry :( Lucky that he's not angry with me. Went up Sweet's house aftermath. She bathed and I transfer songs to psp. After she's done, walked to Vince's house and Sweet slept, zzz. Vince's dad came back and we all went to playground slack. Met Johan and he sent me home.

I miss you like fcuk :( When can I ever get to see you again? Did you miss me? Don't fall sick alright. Be extreme careful when riding. I miss the short times we had. I miss how you make me smile and everything of you. Sighs. I love you boy.

12:46 AM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Yesterday
Went Causeway point with mummy and realatives. Bought some stuffs and went to the arcade. My aunt went mad catching the soft toy, spent around hundred bucks. In the end, still didn't caught it. She challenged me to basketball together with her husband and my mum. My mum was the lousiest, haha! Sakae sushi for dinner. All was full and went back arcade for a short while. Trained back to meet Sweet :) Overnight at our fav place and Johan sent her to school.

Sweet, I can't imagine my life without you. You're part of my life, it's like a missing piece in a puzzle if you're not with me. So I hope, you be fine without me during the 10 days, and hopefully me toos. I'm so bored now that you're still sleeping :( Wake up Sweet. I miss you!

I think I'm getting used to the feelings of being abandoned. I no longer think so much, but I still miss & love you all the same. I'm sorry I can't cherish other ppl, but only wanted to love you. When will my feelings for you be gone, I really had no idea. I don't want to love someone one sidedly, it's so tough and tiring. Everyone is moving on with their lives, but I'm still stuck here, thinking you'll come back & bring me along with you. PeiWei, ily.

7:35 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Monday, October 27, 2008

Yesterday was such a day. Came out early in the morning to accompany Sweet to study, see, I'm such a good friend :) Bused to Town, went Far east and looked around. Bought two tops and bused back. Me & Sweet slept in the bus, but lucky we didn't overslept, haha. Went to our fav place and slack till we're extreme tired. Went home and slept almost immediately.

Today woke up early, for my own timing. But Sweet was late today, so we didn't had our breakfast at Mac. Returned Johan's psp and he bring me to plaza. Fcuk, I bought a comb and in less than an hour I dropped it along the road :( He fetch Sweet to Fajar then came back and fetch me. Thanks loads :) Sweet studied while I played psp ^^ Went home around one am and I can't fcuking get to sleep.. Planned to meet up with Sweet, but she has something on tomorrow..

Sighs. So disappointed that we didn't meet up today :( But, it's alright. Hope you'll rest early, tomorrow is your first day of work, don't tire yourself out ok? I can see that I'm totally nothing to you now. Even as a friend, can't we meet? Ok, maybe you're really busy with all your things. I should understand. Do take care of yourself. I love & miss you, loads.

3:09 AM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Friday, October 24, 2008

Yesterday
Same routine with Sweet :) Roy drove over to meet me around 3am. So long didn't saw him, haha. Went Mount Faber, talk and he was tired! Homed in the morning and just woke up.

I miss the short times we had. I hate to admit the fact that things are no longer the same, and you kicked me out of your life. I guess it's alright now, I'm quite used to it. Still, I wished things never changed. You came and change my life, but you left so soon, without saying goodbye. It still hurt as much. Reality, sucks.

5:00 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Thursday, October 23, 2008

Taken when eating fries at Mac :) Was so bored yesterday. I always made Sweet wait for me while I prepare, so sorry my dear! It's only two weeks more till I'm off to Japan :( Though travelling is fun, but I can't bear to leave Sweet & my loved ones. I'll miss you all like Hell!

Alright, I think I'm not going for Prom's night. Because I haven't hand in the money :( But I guess it's alright, cause my good friends ain't going.

Ok, so I've tried not to text you, and you didn't text me toos :( Was so upset when you said you not working anymore. Because I can't even have a look at you alr. Nvm. Do takecare of yourself. I miss you.

3:43 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Today was a havoc, but it's a secret, haha :) Damn paiseh can.. Meet Sweet early today. Slack around. Evening went up her house, planned to sing, but the damn thing was not working :\ So, watched television. She bathe, ate & went back fajar. I can't sleep on my own bed yet! :( I miss my comfy bed.. Sighs! :@

I really miss you, yes you. I can't deny the fact that I really love you. I had no idea why I can't get you off my mind, & it sucks big time.. Why had I landed in this state? I really want myself to be stronger.. But I seriously can't do it. You won't be mine, I'm dreaming.

2:05 AM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Sunday, October 19, 2008

Actually there's no point of me having a blog ok, nth much to update. Cause it's the same for me everyday. Alright, will write a little. To cousin's house yesterday to celebrate cousins & grandpa's birthday. Whenever I went there, it's always so lively & full of laughters. Feels comfortable & happy there. Actually was not going, cause of the bug's bites all over my body. But mum let me take cab over :) It's been long since she treat me so good, ha. That's all earthlings :) Muacks.

Haha, I'm still such a fool, knowing my phone will ring, but it'll never be you. Two days, it's so hard for me. Will I let go, or stay on..

2:43 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Friday, October 17, 2008

I need job, please help me find, okok? :) Thanks!

All along I thought you said was real, now I know, they're just lies to make me believe you. You could be so heartless, and it's really hurting me. A few days ago, I thought I could just forget you. But today, even you're being heartless, there's never a way to get you out of my life. I'm having sleepless nights thinking about you, yet you don't give a fcuking damn about me. I'm so foolish in believing you.

Even with all these facts infront of me, I still believe. I'm too naive, that's the way I am.. No matter how hard you think I've gotten out of you, but I'll never be. The more hurt I am, the more I'll stay strong.. You always pushed me away & pulled me back over & over again.. What are you trying to do, I really had no idea. Though I'm being persistent, I know I'll never be yours. Thanks for the hurts, I really don't appreciate it.

5:52 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Let's stop it ..

I've not slept for three days, & finally I slept at 8am this morning, & my mummy just called me wake up to eat _!_ I'm no feeling sleepy anymore. I ate sleeping pills whenever I can't sleep. And you know what? The sleeping pills make me feel darn tired but can't sleep! Irritated, I think I have to go for the hospital.

Jian Wei, he's safe & sound after his operation. I know everyone was bad, but I'm sure they'll feel guilty one day. Aiya, don't know what rubbish I spouting!

Boy, I thought we'll never contact again. You changed number, and I know how much you want to get me off your back. But, yesterday you saved your number in my phone, and didn't told me, called me this morning & you gave me a big shock. Thought I was dreaming, but lucky, I'm not. Maybe you only remembered me occasionally & call me as and when you like :( It's like, when I'm starting to let go, I met you and you talked to me & saved your number inside my phone, still say want lend my phone to send a message. Hello, what you really wanted me to do? It hurts having to let go & being pulled back by you again.

1:44 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Sunday, October 12, 2008

It's painful, to suffer alone..

Went bukit batok yesterday, intend to go KTV, end up back to panjang at night.. Reached home early, went out meet brother & also pass someone thing. Sighs. Alone walk to meet bro, alone walk back. Cause he fcuking forget to bring helmet :( Walk back fajar & saw Ivan around 5am. Talked with him till 7am plus... Darn tired! Slept from 8am till now, haha :D

Hope you'll saw the letter, hope it'll not fly away, lastly hope that you'll not dump it. Grrr. Was so surprised to see your bike at that time. Thought you were out, but you were home. Sleeping? Haha. Only two days never see you, like so long never see you already.. It's ok. I said I'll keep a distance. Hope you'll not get irritated by the letter laa :) Take good care. Loves.

6:00 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Friday, October 10, 2008

I miss Prince

I felt so lonely all of a sudden. I'm spending my afternoons at home everyday.. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Ohya, I'm not working there anymore, don't ask me why :) So, I need a new job now, as soon as possible. I don't want stay at home whole day thinking rubbish :( Is everyone changing? Or I'm the one changing? Nope, I can swear I didn't change.. So, what the hell happened to my life, everything seems so distance to me.

Can I say I missed you alot? You doesn't seems to miss me at all. You refused to reply my text & calls. Upset is all I'm feeling now. You're treating me like hell. I don't know what else to say anymore. You made my life a disaster, you know? Can you bring back my smile? Sighs, I love you.

4:18 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I'm being dumped

Ok. I started work today. It's like in hell suffering. I didn't sleep yesterday night & went straight for work today! I can't smoke unless during my half hour dinner time, I can't sit because I have to do things all the time. Now, the whole of my body aches like crazy. Friends don't want accompany me for dinner, fcuk. Hate you all :( Boss gave me leave for tomorrow, because they said I'm like a walking zombie. Which myself thinks too. I can't walk properly because of the long hours I stood at the shop, also, my face looks dead when I didn't have enough sleep.

Sighs. You seems to fade further away from me now. I can't even reach you, lest your heart. You had an accident yesterday, & you made me worried throughout the whole night. How irresponsible can you get? Don't you know I'll be worried sick? Why you're not the one who tells me about your situation, why must people come tell me then I know? Am I really that dumb to you? I admit I'm dumb, but you shouldn't take advantage. You said you'll be guiding me. Guide what now? Guide me to hell? I'm really going crazy.

10:53 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Went plaza ytd to study for my poa with shihui & sweet. In the end, I faint this morning.. Sighs. I'm so bored can. Watched home alone 1 & 2 :)

Your actions & words makes things clearer for me to see. You made me see that this is YOU. You didn't even appreciate when I said I bought things for you, & say I waste money. It's the thought that counts isn't it? I guess to you, it's the money that counts. From the start, you just treat it as a child play. Right? Congratulations, you succeeded in making me cry.

4:42 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Monday, October 6, 2008

Your cold towards me, means to make me leave?

Yesterday was bored. Was about to meet up with clique, then last minute, something happened & I'm not going.. Went up rachel house to wait for her to prepare, fajar for dinner. The guys came & we were all very bored. Tomorrow will be my last paper, after that, holidays! :)

Yes yes, I know what you're thinking. You're treating me totally different this few days, you're treating me cold like ice. You're making me to miss you like hell. What exactly you want from me? Can you speak & not keep mum? I've been gueesing what I should do every now & then.. It's very hard ya know? Why can't you speak your mind dude? Maybe you just wants to make me tired from having to see you from a distance, but lemme tell you, I won't!!! Though it's tiring, but I'm not giving up. That's that. Get it? :(

2:18 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hear no evil, See no evil, Say no evil
I think, I got drunk yesterday? But I still managed to walk home myself, bcos I found myself lying on the bed when I wake up, haha. See, I can be so independent right? :) Finally, I'm left with the last paper, POA! I almost flunked all my exams, can I cry? Sighs, no more car for me. I'm running a fever now, 38.4degree, ytd 38.9 :( Mummy so worried about me that she almost took leave today, haha. Mummy, I love you.

I'm sorry I acted like a kid. Though we're only a few years apart, you feel that there's an age gap? You just want to work & earn money? I don't think that's the true reason for neglecting me. I somehow know what you're thinking, that's why I decided to pretend. But I can't do it. It's like asking me not to breathe. But I'll try my best. Trust me, I'll change. let's wait & see. Give me time.

3:02 PM Sylvia Finished her line

♥ Thursday, October 2, 2008

I shall pretend..

Have not been studying my geography, sucks :( Slacking everyday & it's freaking bored like hell can. There's nothing much for me to do. I want to work, I want to clear my fcuk debts. I have many undone things for me to go do. Why the fcuk am I slacking like nobody's business everyday, why am I such a useless bum.

I said I WILL pretend, means I will. I will restrict myself from texting you, unless my itchy hand does it. I shall not meet you for the time being, till you totally cooled down. I'm sorry that I made you moodless for this two days. I swear I'll bring back your smile no matter what cost I have to pay. But you just doesn't want to tell me what's happening, how am I to solve? Or, maybe you should just tell me what to do.

12:12 PM Sylvia Finished her line